I'm the wife of OFFICER, whom I'm madly in love with. And these are my stories of being A ROOKIE'S wife.

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween Blog World!

I hope everyone has a safe and happy Halloween.  Officer and I will be dressing up as the character's from the movie Castaway, perhaps I'll post a picture of this tomorrow. (:

On a somber note, my thoughts and prayers are out to the New England states in the wake of Sandy.  Remember to think about all the people without homes, electricity, etc.  And think of all the LEO families that are without their mates, because whatever the nation runs from, LEO's run to.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Bump in the Night

I'm not sure what woke me up at 3 AM this morning, but it woke up Officer and pup, too.  Officer immediately goes into safety mode - Did you hear that? I'm still half asleep, but he heard something, pup clearly heard something because she's growling and so surely I did - I reply yes.  (But, I'm not really sure I had heard anything).  He's up and out of bed, grabbing his gun and clearing the house before I even know it. 

THEN I HEAR SOMETHING.  On the roof?  Maybe.  Once I'm scared, I'm hyper vigilant so I'm not positive the things I'm hearing are legit concerns.  Officer comes back to the room.  Nothing, did you hear anything while I was gone?  Of course I had to tell him about the person I heard on our roof.  He's decided to clear the outside of the house and the roof.  We have an alarm in our house and he goes to disable it so he can go outside.  Then, he exits the house through the garage.  I kid you not, the second I hear the garage nestle in place (stop making racket), I hear a gun shot.  Holy cow, I really did hear something and they are shooting at my husband now!  Did I mention that I'm hyper vigilant? 

Before he went outside, he reminded me how to use the shotgun if I needed it. Unfortunately, I'm still in a sleep coma and too cold to get out of bed to even get to it.  Then, I hear someone come back into the house.  Because they aren't in a frenzy, I'll just assume it's Officer, but I really don't know (but, I really did know, because he set the alarm again- you just can't think straight when that kind of stuff is going on). 

Nothing, we're good I cleared around the house and the roof.  Immediately I'm asking him about the gun shot I heard - what was that?!  He said someone was shooting fireworks off a few neighborhoods down from us.  I then sheepishly admit that I don't think I heard anything when he asked me the first time.

What an exciting night!  It was so fun to see Officer in work, although just a little bit scary.  (:

It was really hard to go back to sleep after that.  What made the bump in the night that alerted Officer and pup?  What if Officer hadn't been there?  Or perhaps, when Officer isn't there what will I do?

Monday, October 29, 2012

Smoke, Smoothies and Sickness.

Officer and I had quite the interesting (read: challenging) weekend.  It was never-ending (ha, those are the weekends you pray for, right?  Not in this sense).  Let's just hit replay -

It started Thursday night when Officer was up all night with the pup, who was sick.  Then Friday was just busy.  A charity was coming through our neighborhood to do a pick up of items and so we put out a bunch of items we weren't using in the house.  A couch, kitchen table and chairs, coffee table, chair, bookshelf and boxes of clothes.  Yep, we looked like those neighbors- you know, with their whole house in their front lawn.  The pup was sick again on Friday, but we figured she just had a bug.  Saturday morning was a cold one.  We decided to make a fire, but we needed to clear out all the ash from the fire we made a few weeks ago.  Officer wanted to scoop it out, but I thought using the shop vac would make more sense.  He went to get more firewood, I went and got the shop vac.  When he came back in he said through his coughing - "um, I don't think that was a great idea."  Yes, the shop vac was sucking up all the ash and soot, but it was spitting it back out the other side.  Joy.  So we start up the fire, what's that?  Oh yes, we forgot to open the dormer.  More joy.  More smoke/ash fills our house- luckily, no fire alarms went off.  Consequently, we had to leave our back door open all morning, did I mention it was cold enough for us to start a fire in the house? (: We both sat down exhausted after those two occurrences and... splat, the breakfast smoothie I had made was knocked to the floor.  We did what anyone would do after that - got back in bed and went to sleep.  We had to start this day over.  The rest of the day (like there was much left) went pretty normal.  However, we had a wedding that evening to attend for Officer's step-brother.  While we were there we realized Officer had a step-sister.  Apparently, we are NOT good step siblings.  When we got home, pup had gotten sick all over her crate.  When I say, "all over her crate", I mean it in the literal sense.  Probably 8-10 vomit piles, she even attempted to eat some of them to find a place to sit down.  It was heartbreaking and smelly.  And trying to find a way to clean it up was also a challenge.  But, after we accomplished cleaning it,  we washed her up and spent the evening/early morning at the emergency animal clinic.

For the first time in my life, I looked forward to Monday.   But now that it's here, I'd rather have my weekend.

For those of you interested in the status of pup: she had an intestinal parasite and is doing much better now that she's on 3 medications!

Thursday, October 25, 2012


I have a history of reacting.  When something happens, I just react - I don't ever take the time to think out the best situation, or response.  If we have the scenario: the fireman, water, and the fire-  I'm the fire, no doubt.  Officer is always the fireman and the water.  Ha, I have a feeling he won't like being called a fireman (mainly because his brother is a fireman and we do those type jokes in the family).   Now, sometimes being a reactor has worked out to my favor. Like the time my pup, Scout (she's like my child), was attacked at the dog park and my reaction was to rip that other dog off of her.  However, most of the time, it works against me - especially when it's high stress or I'm angry.  Like the time I missed my flight to a friends wedding and I was rude to the airport workers.  (there's no excuse, I should have been kind, but I just reacted!)

Officer on the other hand is less of a reactor.  But, he kind of cheats because most of the time it looks like he's doing really good reacting.  It's pretty unfair.  I'll never forget the first fight we got into - I ended up yelling at him for not yelling at me.  He was carefully picking his words and making sure he wouldn't say anything he regretted - that made me even more mad since I had already made it through my entire list of things that I would regret saying! (:  Luckily, he always forgives me - I mean, he knows I'm just reacting and that deep down, I think he's the coolest.  And thanks to him, we hardly ever fight.

As of noon today, I have received my CPR/AED certification!  As part of the class to get the certification I had to pass a scenario test.  My scenario was that a coworker fell in the hallway, let's watch it unfold:

Teacher: Quick, what's the first step?
Me: You, call 9-1-1!
Teacher: Are you sure?
Me: Yes, call 9-1-1!
Teacher: Turns out, her shoes were untied and she just tripped over the laces.  Nothing serious -- Be sure and confirm there is a situation first.  (:

Now, I know that he was just making a point, but look at what I did.  I just reacted.  First thing that came to my mind (and I thought it was an excellent thought)!  At lunch, I was joking that if someone needed the Heimlich I would probably panic, rip their clothes off of them and attach an AED. 
Ha, don't get me wrong, I understood my training. I'm just nervous that in one of those situations instinct will kick in and it will be the wrong instinct.  Hmph, hopefully there is a doctor nearby.  Or, I'll just avoid all places with people.  That seems reasonable?

In our CPR Training we also discussed the four steps to helping someone.  One of the steps was "Make the Decision to Help".  Officer doesn't have this choice.  By law, he's required to help in any situation.  What's that?  We're out at dinner and there's a shooting in the restaurant?  Officer is obligated to help, regardless of the fact that he isn't on duty and isn't wearing his bullet proof vest.  (Anyone out there want to give him props, now? - no?  That's alright, I'll get used it).  I (or perhaps read "we") have the opportunity to think about the situation and see if my brain can wrap around it to make good decisions instead of reactions and then make the decision whether to be involved.  Officer isn't given that option, he has to step into any situation and he has to make good decisions.  And then, listen to how he could have made better decisions from the public, who, let's be honest, probably cowered under their tables.  Gosh, I'm so grateful there is someone out there who proudly steps into that role.  If the force was made up of a bunch of myself, we'd be in some serious trouble.  Plus, we all know how I would react to every one's comments...

Thank a cop this week for all they do.  They, like many professions, don't get enough credit.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

It can wait!

While on my way to work this morning, there was an announcement sign flashing:

State Awareness Week - Stop the Texts, Stop the Wrecks

I'm glad that awareness is coming to this problem that always seems to be growing. It's such a dangerous habit to get into. When I was a teenager I used to be a victim to this habit, as well. It's so frustrating to me that I would text and drive as a teen - when I was first on the road by myself! So dangerous for me, but even more importantly, so dangerous for everyone around me! It absolutely irks me to see people on the highway to work going 80-85 mph swerving with their heads down because they're texting. Can't it wait?

That's one big thought that changed my view on texting and driving - can't it wait? Who in my life am I so tied down to that they can't wait 5-10 minutes for me to send them a reply? Am I really a slave to my friends and family like that? I know that I'm not. My friends and family would happily wait for a reply until I'm not driving. Won't yours?  Take some time to reflect on those thoughts.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Get a Dog

Officer and I had a great time dog sitting this weekend.  As I was enjoying just spending time with my hubby, I couldn't help but think that his back is getting stronger every day and that he will be back out on the streets in a few short months.  I eluded to Officer having back surgery in a previous post, but here's the story:  Officer was chasing a bad guy and "they ran through the briars and they ran through the brambles and they ran through the bushes where a rabbit couldn't go" and ended up in a lake.  Believe it or not, through that ordeal, Officer herniated a disc in his lumbar.  He had spinal surgery and he's been off duty for almost two and a half months.

As his wife, it has been fantastic having him home.  Now, I know what you're thinking - help with the housework!  Ha, not the case.  Officer had to pretty much lie around all of those months, I'm lucky he didn't go stir crazy.  Even though he couldn't help out it, has been so nice to have my husband home on weekends, nights and holidays (not that we've really had any big ones) and to be able to contact him when I need him.  I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for when that is going to change.  When I can't reach him just to chat, when he's working late to catch a bad guy or when I have to spend nights and weekends with out him.  I think that's the biggest adaptation a police wife encounters.  Not having him around during normal hours. 

I grew up with a father that worked for himself - he had made his own hours.  He never missed a holiday, party, birthday, game - anything.  So that's the only example I had to set expectations for a husband.  Guess what?  Officer will miss all of those things - maybe not all in the same year, but his job will keep him from each one of those at some point.  And being a rookie officer, it will be more frequent in this first years.  So what do LEO wives do?  We pull up our bootstraps, snug tight to our families, keep our faith in God, and remind ourselves how much we love our men that go out and sacrifice everything to serve.  And, of course, get a dog.  What doesn't fill a void like a slobbering, wet kiss from a dog?

Officer, if you're reading this, I love you (a lot) and I promise to stand with you.

Wives, what brings you comfort when you're husband isn't home with you during big events, or even the small ones that we take for granted (like dinner)?


Friday, October 19, 2012

K9 Training

I'm a newbie to the blogging world - this is my first blog and it's my first time really getting into other blogs.  I'm quickly discovering that I'm not hip on all things blog.  In fact,  I'm very un-hip.  I have no idea how to get fancy graphics or make my blog show up in searches.  And, more embarrassingly, I don't check dates of previous blogs.  In my attempt to connect with other LEO (law enforcement officer) wives, I have been actively searching out other blogs to follow.  Whenever I find a blog and I enjoy the post, I love to leave a comment.  After all, who doesn't like to have comments on their blog?  Well, I was leaving a few comments yesterday here and there on some blogs I was enjoying... Only to find out I was commenting on stories that were blogged in 2009!...... 2009!! Years ago!  Yep, I'm that girl. (:  But seriously, why can't I find any other police wife blogs?  To steal from Paula Cole - Where have all the Cowboys (err, Police Wives) gone?!  I'm pretty sure Officer would hang his head at that reference.  (: 

Officer is going to have his police training in full force this weekend while we.... dog sit.  Ha, not as many thrills as catching bad guys, but who doesn't get excited to scoop a little poop? Which leads me to my tangent about how I want him to be on the K9 squad of the force.  Not that he can specialize in anything for a few years, but when he can I'd love that - of course, he has other plans (SWAT, Gangs, something dangerous and scary).  Do you ever try and help your husband define his career to what you think would be cool?  Like I mentioned in an earlier post, I'm an accountant and I need some thrills in my spreadsheet-and-numbers life.  I have to live vicariously through him and because of that, I feel like I have the right to steer his path.  Well, perhaps not.  But, I'm his wife so I have the right to steer his path...?  I'll just keep dreaming. 

Did I mention the dog we're watching is 14 years old? 

Happy Weekend!

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Carrying a Pickle

Whoa, that first post was pretty heated.  I don't anticipate them all being me on a soap box.  Today's post will be for those of you who like their salsa mild.

Officer and I met in college - before he was a cop.  And clearly we went on very different first date's with each other because neither of us recall it quite the same way.  Or even close.  I was your typical old fashioned girl and I wanted Officer to actually ask me on a date, you know, use the words "WILL YOU GO ON A DATE WITH ME?"  Since he did not, before the waitress even took our drink orders, I let her know we would be on separate checks.  (:  Now, for those of you out there thinking I was mean to Officer, please know that I had been courting him for months.  He was just now giving me the time of day and it was my turn to play hard to get.  Anyways, a short background story on us.

After marrying Officer, I realized how foreign guns were to me (and how comfortable he was with them, I mean, I guess you have to be to put one on your waist every day for work)  I had no idea how to handle them, what to do with them, how they worked!  My dad only had girls, so we didn't hunt or go out and shoot guns for fun.  In fact, I think I had only handled ONE gun prior to marrying Officer.  Needless to say, the first month after our marriage was very interesting.  He'd ask me to move a gun and it was like I was a child.  Where do I touch it?  Why did I just swing it and point it at the dog accidentally?  Oh boy, did he ever have some training to do.  For the first three months if he would leave the gun in the console of the car, I would ask, "won't the heat make it shoot?"  Ha, I'm sure he had plenty of laughs from that.  But, I can't be the only cops wife who didn't know about guns?  Aren't there some others out there than can relate to me?  Disclaimer: Officer has since trained me on gun safety and now I know how to properly handle the machinery.  But, Officer grew up with all boys and so he had no idea what he was getting himself into.  (:

While we're on the subject of guns, I never like to ask Officer if he is carrying his because I don't want others to know/panic.  "Hey Babe, Do you have your gun?" Cue mass chaos throughout the store.  So, I always try and be sly when I'm asking him about it - epic failure.  "Hey, are you hot?" - You know, people say "I'm packing heat", so if you're packing heat, you're hot.... no?  He didn't get it either.  "No sweety, I'm fine.  Are you hot?"  Then, I started asking if he wanted a pickle.  There isn't any logical reason behind this one, but I thought that might be why he understood.  Again, not the case.  "Do you have a pickle?"  "Um... no?"  Then, when he finally figured it out he said "Babe, I have a pickle, just so you know"  "Um... ?"  Ha, so we officially cannot be sly when asking if he has his gun.  Any good tips out there for this one?  Or will we forever be that couple walking around talking in a code that the other one doesn't understand?  Let's be honest, we probably will be.  But we'll also be the happiest couple walking around doing that, forever in laughter at the other. 

Any other cops wife's out there with a good story about adjusting to this life style?  Please share!

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Who Doesn't Like Bacon?

Officer and I have been married just under 4 months, however, it hasn't taken me long to grow fond of being the wife of a cop (police office, boy in blue, pig, etc).  I feel associated with this label, and I wear it proudly.  The same way my husband wears his badge proudly- and is proud to serve his city.  Sometimes, I find myself wondering why...  The city is so ungrateful back to him. 

Officer strives to, as Kayne would say, "work it harder, make it better, do it faster, make us stronger," constantly trying to change the image of the police officer: be nicer, work quicker, show compassion, improve the city.  But, like with any stereotype, it takes more than one to break the mold.  And, unfortunately, it only takes one bad apple to ruin the bunch.  Which leads me to the title of this post, Who Doesn't Like Bacon?  Apparently, everyone.

When someone asks me what my husband does for a living, I puff my chest and say, he's a police officer (in my head thinking, ahem, he lays his life on the line every single day for you and your family to have a safe place to be - give him some props now).  But, inevitably, what do people do?  Oh, one time when I was pulled over, this police officer was so awful to me and was rude.....  You know the stories. Is this a way for me to connect with you?  Because it completely turns me off from you.  Sometimes after they finish their story I want to say, "Oh, OK.  And what do you do?"  And when they answer (let's just make them answer they're an accountant - I'm an accountant so I will sacrifice myself here)-  Oh, this one time, an accountant completely screwed up all of my taxes and I had to pay into the system when I could have had money back.  If only those bean counters were more competent.  None of them can get you the deductions you need.  They just push through the paper for some cash money.  Would you feel connected to me, too?  I'm going to guess you wouldn't. 

Let's travel back to my high school years.  I dated a kid that was a real trouble maker and definitely shaped my view of cops.  He was always "wrongly accused,” "profiled,” etc.  Even once I was "profiled" (term used loosely) as a drug dealer.  Let's look at the facts, though.  I was dating a drug dealer (in my defense, I was naive and thought I had changed his life and that he was clean - ha), after being pulled over I went and talked to a drug dealer (again, no idea… I was kind of sheltered growing up).  Sounds like reason enough to me for them to be cautious.  However at the time, to me, it was offensive.  I'm proud to have never done drugs in my life - heck, I've never even smoked a cigarette and I didn't drink until I was 21.  Didn't they know that about me?  Ha, was I ever ignorant.  It was for their safety and the safety of their town that they were inquisitive.  What about my actions did I think should’ve made them feel safe?  The fact I was speeding in a residential neighborhood and all of the above items?  Clearly, they should have just known.  Right?  Yep, Officer told me while he was in the academy he learned how to read people's minds and instantaneously know if they were a good or bad person - ha!  Clearly, they had to approach the situation with the little facts they had.  For Officer's safety, I want him to treat each and everyone person as if they will shoot him.  While in the academy, he watched video after video of unsuspecting suspects shooting police officers while on traffic stops.  Including grandmas (after she had already given her license and registration), Dads (with kids in tote), and all sorts of makes and models of cars.  Anyone can be dangerous!  Did I mention that Officer is a husband, brother, son?  He's a person!  I want him to safely come home to me every night.  Just like anyone would be cautious approaching someone they didn't know and who had just broken the law - he does the same thing!

That last sentence leads me to what is hopefully my final thought of today.  "Just broken the law"  But I was only going a 5 mph over!  Gosh, let's go back to my accountant example.  I only cooked the books by a little bit!! Oh, what's that?  It's not OK for that profession to let it slide?  Hm.. I'm starting to see a double standard here.  Well, Officer doesn't have a quota - he won't be in trouble if he doesn't write X number of tickets a month, contrary to popular belief and TV shows that sensationalize the job.  Officer isn't even out to write tickets.  All the time he tells me he "wants to catch bad guys".  How do you catch a bad guy?  Pull him over for something that you can.  Maybe you pull him over for a broken tail light, expired tag, etc.  Maybe the person you pull over isn't a bad guy, but an honest person who didn't know that their tag was expired.  Unfortunately, it's still breaking the law.  You might have the cop that doesn't write you a ticket, or you might have the one who does.  Either way, can you admit you were in the wrong?  Even innocently?  Bottom line is, they had a reason to pull you over - no matter how insignificant it was.  I will be the first to admit every time I've been pulled over there has been a reason.  These cops are out to enforce the law and I was breaking it.  At the time, did I feel undeserving of a ticket?  Absolutely!  I'm a law abiding citizen, go catch a criminal!  Perhaps, that's what they had been trying to do and on the same token, I was still breaking the law. 

Officer has been on the police department for just over a year now.  He's worked in the grittiest, most unappreciated parts of the city and really tried to make it better.  He's given everything to catch bad guys and recently had to have back surgery because of it.  It is his job, but he can't leave his work at the office.  It's 24-7.  Officer wears his body, mind and soul out trying to Protect and Serve.  He's become calloused to the unappreciativeness of the city, state and nation.  And because of that, he's able to continue to work hard.  But, as his wife, it pains me every day to hear the things people say, read comments on stories, etc.  I hope this blog will become a place where people can share in that pain, educate themselves on police officers and their behavior, and understand that there is a human behind that uniform.  Boys in Blue have a beating heart, too.